“Just Be Yourself!”… Oh okay, thank-you for that ultra vague, super cliché tip. It really just changed my entire perspective… said no-one ever.
Despite my sarcastic introduction to this topic I actually am a terribly firm believer in being yourself in every sense of the word and I thought that was exactly how I was living my life. Until today.
Bear with me with this odd beginning…I have a point I swear…
I was watching tutorials on YouTube about dying hair silver/grey and a variety of pastel colours. (Bit of history, Taylor and I used to dye our hair blue and pink when we were 14/15, before it was in fashion and we were seen as super eccentric for it haha and now, of course, its a giant trend.) I was getting really excited and was thinking about dying maybe the bottom layer of my hair a blue/purple colour but I wasn’t sure. Or as I said to Taylor “I’m too scared!”. Too scared..? To dye my hair a temporary colour? And just like that it clicked.
I WANTED to try something, but I was SCARED of what people would say. I was scared to be myself. Look if I am being 100% honest I was scared about what a guy might think of it and what certain girls might say and if it would suit me and the ‘look’ I was going for… I did not even realise I was going for a look! I should not be going for ‘a certain look’, that is a mistake on the road to being yourself.
Being yourself means having total faith in yourself, loving yourself and not being afraid to show yourself to the world, despite what other people might say.
Sometimes I do not feel faithful to myself, I forget to love myself and I feel very powerless. Sometimes I begin to slip into old habits of letting my happiness rely on my desirability to someone else. Someone who is not perfect themselves and does not know how I work. I worry about how many people are talking about my behind my back, snickering at me, pointing out my flaws. I get anxious that I am annoying. I get anxious that I am annoying. I get anxious that I am annoying. That is the perfect summary of these thoughts brought in by the gremlin that lives in the back of my mind and in the corners of my smile. This little gremlin tries to crawl into the forefront of my mind every so often and drag me backwards, away from self-love and self-acceptance. He tries to tell me that of course it is important that, that person should like me and that I need to try and impress people by being someone that I am not.
Every day I am working towards silencing the little gremlin forever. (Sometimes my hormones do not help me with this haha)
So all that pointless story-time aside, what did I realise?
1. Sometimes you think you are being yourself but you are not.
2. Caring about other peoples opinions on how you look or what you say is not being yourself.
3. To be yourself you must…here it is… DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! (Ugh, another cliché)
4. Being yourself means you will be walking with true friends, which is always worth it, no matter how small the circle gets.
So I will be dying my hair whatever colour I feel like and having fun with it because doing what makes you happy is a PERSONAL choice and is not the same for everyone so therefore you are being unique, you are being YOURSELF! (Success!)
Stay full of LOVE